• Jose Luis Ucar

One’s life journey

Updated: Sep 1, 2018



Have you ever woken up one day feeling like there is no meaningful reason to get out of bed? Or maybe you’ve felt lack of purpose in your new day start? Maybe you’ve felt lost and questioning really the “why” you should go on? The “why” are you here?


Or maybe you felt you had it all, you had achieved some of your most desired goals, and still something inside you felt empty? You didn’t know what it was but had the urge to find out because something very deep inside you, told you it was the right thing to do? It was probably a path leading to suffering and despite of that, you still decided to take it? It may have seemed uncertain, difficult, crazy, unreasonable, never ending and you still went for it, because finding that meaning, that reason to your life was the most important.


Because finding your path, was the most important?


Even if you find it hard to believe, I’ve experienced the above and countless more sensations in the past year and this doesn’t go without saying that I’ve been through them in previous moments of my life as well, but never with the same intensity.


I reached a point in which I was drowning, because my mind was completely out of control or how I would like to call it, on “auto-pilot” and it was creating a snow ball effect; for me personally, it was like a balloon that goes up in the atmosphere and bursts due to the high pressure.


Yes, that was me or has been me, until I decided in my own way that it was time to find a solution, to find a purpose, to look for answers, because I couldn’t keep living, feeling and perceiving life in a way that was making me suffer in the inside, even when the outside could have said or shown that everything was ok. The time came when I finally had to go and find my higher purpose as I could not believe I had been living my life through the eyes of society, through the eyes of other people and that I was going through my own life with eyes wide opened but without seeing.


When I mention society, what I mean is that we are brought up within a society; regardless of where we are from, rules and norms exist to control our behaviours and the way we express ourselves, and hence the belief that we are “social animals” who follow the herd (we all behave similarly and tend to strive for akin goals such as money, status, freedom, happiness, etc.). And this is what I did up to an extent, I went after the money (specially because I didn’t have much while growing up), I went after having a nice car, a lovely house, a prestigious job and so on. I was always comparing myself against others, feeling good when I felt I had more than them and sad and frustrated when I felt they were better than me. It was a never ending cycle of dissatisfaction and a pursuit for more and more of the stuff that somehow I thought would fill up my gaps and would make me happy.


How wrong I was, or another way to look at it without being too hard on myself would be, how right I was, because if I wouldn’t have gone down that path, I might not be where I am today, which in all honesty feels the perfect place to be just now, the place from where I can start spreading my real wings, not anybody else’s wings, but mine, the ones that will help me continue discovering myself and adding meaning to my life, my unique life, my unique experience, the one in which I thrive as I go through. A life from which I expect challenges that will help me grow and that will provide me with knowledge and wisdom that I can share with you to hopefully help you make conscious choices to positively impact your life experience. That would be amazing, wouldn’t it?   

 

Since I finally realised this, finding a higher purpose in my life has become my quest and forgive me about the above as it wasn’t intended to affect or influence your current state, but I needed to show and explain my background and how I’ve felt, how I saw life and how I interacted with it, to be able to tell you all I’ve been doing recently and the changes I’ve been making, the knowledge I’ve been acquiring and inspiration I’ve exposed myself to, the disciplined I’ve been developing and many other things that are helping me to turn my life around, helping me find meaning and making me feel more fulfilled by becoming part of a greater whole. I’m discovering that when you make your life revolve around others more than your own self, it takes a new and different meaning that I look forward to carry on discovering as I continue learning, improving and giving back while on this exciting journey that is becoming my life.


Just to give you a few examples, I’ve changed my eating habits for healthier ones that provide me with more energy, make me feel better and have also allowed me to lose weight. Something as simple as drinking more water is creating amazing results. I’ve joined different seminars and activities that have inspired me and changed my perspectives, helping me realise that life’s reality is always different to what we believe it is, and that what we see is the result of our mind’s filters and barriers. The best part is that we can change this to create a better reality or at least one that works better for us. It is incredible, isn’t it? I’m learning to control my emotions instead of the opposite, I’m improving the way I communicate with myself and this is impacting the way I communicate with others. I listen more which is opening a new world that I didn’t know of. I’m reading daily and not any kind of books but those that have the type of content that enables me to grow, become a better person, help others, find meaning… (I’m also listening to Audiobooks). I’m gaining knowledge and learning techniques that help me improve my daily life while overcoming personal limitations. I’m developing discipline and control on every area of my life, for instance, I set myself little challenges like waking up earlier to prepare for the day ahead, abstain from drinking any alcohol for periods of time, no eating meat, regular meditations, set myself a low budget for the month to test my savings ability, improve my running PB (personal best) and anything else in which I find value and which prepares me for life coming challenges. I also try to put myself in what I like to call, “uneasy moments” that somehow push myself out of my comfort zone. I believe there is not such thing as perfection and that striving for continuous progress leads to a more fulfilled and happy life. See where you are today compared to where you were a week, a month or a year ago, what is that like? If you get a positive feeling or emotion, you are on the right track and if you don’t, what are you going to do about it? Your current moment is the result of the decisions you’ve made in the past. If you are ready to change your present and your future, then it’s time to start making different choices. Yes, it is possible. If I’m doing it, you can as well.   


I really hope you have enjoyed reading my first ever essay, definitely the first of many more to come that I wish to share with you.


Before I go, I would like to leave you with a quote from Seneca the Younger:


“It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not to venture. It’s because we dare not to venture that they are difficult”.

Remember that you can change your life in numerous ways to give it a brand new meaning and sense of purpose. So, when are you going to begin to venture?


In case you haven’t noticed, I’m fairly new to this new journey and I’m fully committed to staying on this path and would love it if you decided to join me. I would also love to hear your feedback as well as ideas for further topics to speak and write about.


It’s time for action (as a beloved friend usually says) so let’s start creating and enjoying this life’s journey. 


Love you all very much.


Jose Luis Ucar


Excellence Coach at Finding Excellence



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© 2020 by Jose Ucar, Communication and Public Speaking Trainer.

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